When a Man Loves a Woman

At some point in the next ten months, Duane and I are going to either have to explain to Muro or ourselves why we decided to open our homes to a foreign exchange student. As I sit here less than a week before he is supposed to arrive (and only three weeks into this process), I realize that our 17-year-old Georgian kid has been going through the rigorous process of trying to come to America. I don’t know if you know, but our country isn’t all that easy to get into. For many months before we knew he even existed, he has been attending seminars, practicing conversation, learning about our culture and writing essays. We have been traveling and eating and living our lives without giving one thought that he existed.

Something happened a few weeks ago as we watched, “The Blind Side,” with Sandra Bullock. Something moved us to put aside our monthly pain of trying to conceive a child and constant reminder that everyone else around us is a parent and somehow we aren’t able to fulfill that role yet. Nevermind the fact that we are constantly mentoring young Airmen and genuinely care about others’ children as if they are our own…that kind of love isn’t easy to explain—it is much easier to show. This is why I am not so sure I can explain to people when they look at me with that crinkled eyebrow, searching their mind for when I have ever mentioned wanting to take on a foreign exchange student, and ask me when we decided to pursue this. After all, foreign exchange students aren’t like sea monkeys where you pick one out, add water, and POOF, you have an insta-kid…or are they?

Duane and I had a discussion that we would look at maybe fostering a child if I looked into it and the agreement was only that we agreed to talk about the possibility. Before I knew it, I was at the computer at 11 p.m. searching the Mississippi database of children who I knew in my heart we could not love enough to bring into our home because of our previous schedules and commitments. My dream of fostering a child and opening our home in the interim of barren months of trying to get pregnant slowly slipped away in the hours of darkness.

Then it occurred to me—we could host an exchange student. I had always had the idea in the back of my head. I remember the exchange kids from my high school and the impression they left on me. I had always wanted to be an exchange kid. And when I told Duane about it all, he had to have thought I was crazy. First I get all Sandra Bullock and let’s adopt a kid on him and now I am like let’s get some exchange kid who will be here in three weeks. Thank goodness my husband firmly believes in the mantra, “Happy Wife, Happy Life,” because we began the process to get an exchange kid immediately. He will be here in five days.